How to Be Irresistible to Women: Tip #1

GETTING YOUR SHY GIRL TO OPEN UP
by How to Be Irresistible to Women

In most cases, women love to communicate with their friends. They are often the ones to start conversations or talk to you until they're blue in the face.



But has this ever happened to you? You're out on a date and stuck
staring at each other across a table--or when you're at a bar
looking everywhere but at one another because you don't know what
to say--and you find that your girl's motormouth seems to have dried
up completely. Worst of all, you can't think of anything to say,
either. What do you do?

If the girl you're interested in is shy, you may find it almost
impossible to connect, especially if you're not that great at
communicating yourself. It's going to be up to you to draw her out
of her shell.

Everyone can understand the roots of shyness, because most people
have passed through a shy point in their lives themselves. Shy
girls are often very unsure of themselves in social situations.
They may want more than anything to have an intimate, close
relationship, but they're afraid of the consequences if they do.
They get paralyzed by the fear that they'll screw things up,
embarrass themselves, and experience the worst kind of rejection.
So, they get extremely self-conscious every time anyone approaches
them. The safest bet, they think, is keeping their mouth shut.

You will probably find it difficult to break through to a shy girl
when you just meet her. Take things slowly and don't come on
strong. If you make it clear that you're interested in her, she
may feel frightened and back off. Your first goal should be to
establish a friendship with her so that she feels okay about
allowing you into her comfort zone. Ideally you'll have the
opportunity to see your shy girl over a period of weeks or months.
Never push things. Patience is essential with the shy girl. Your
goal should be to desensitize your shy girl to your presence by
gradually building a level of comfort between you.

So how do you do that?

Start by getting her familiar with you by smiling and saying hi to
her every day. You may wish to drop observational comments that
don't require a response from her, then turn your attention away
immediately to something else. That way, she won't feel any
pressure. Shy girls are great observers, so have long
conversations with people in close proximity to her, so that she
can listen in without having to participate. This will show her
what sort of person you are--a person who isn't the kind that will
reject her.

Once you sense that your shy girl associates your presence with
something good--maybe she starts smiling back at you, or maybe she
responds to your comments with a nod of agreement--it's time to make
the first move.

Since shy girls are often better at activities than talking, tell
her that you've been dying to play miniature golf recently, and she
looks like the sort of girl who'd be good at it. Would she be your
partner?

This sort of request doesn't sound like a direct, "Would you go out
on a date with me?" A more subtle approach is always best with the
shy girl. If she knows that she won't be put on the spot and have
to talk, she'll probably be more than willing to accompany you. On
your first date, don't stress too much if she's uncommunicative.
With a shy girl, it's going to take more time.

After a good comfort level is established, try to get to know her a
bit better. The best way to do this is ask her questions about
things she's passionate about. Many shy people don't bother
speaking because they don't think that others will want to hear
what they have to say.

With the shy girl, you have to be a good listener and coax her out.
Ask questions she cannot give a yes or no answer to. For example,
instead of asking, "Do you like to swim?" ask, "Where's your
favorite place to swim?" Every time she can answer your question
easily, she'll build more confidence. Avoid questions that are too
open-ended, like, "Why do you like swimming?"

It will take more time and effort to develop a relationship but a
shy girl, but the rewards can often be worth it. Just be aware
that you need to accept that the shy girl may never change. If you
expect that your relationship will revolve around parties, the
social scenes, and hanging out with friends, you may have to ask
yourself whether she'll really feel comfortable participating in
your lifestyle.

Good luck!

"How to Be Irresistible to Women"